JUNE 15 2006

JUNE 13 2006

Not everyone knows that I also write and publish books, including a few "how to" and "teach yourself" titles like:

Just wanted to take a second and let those who care know that despite premature reports of the death of my attention span, I am indeed working on Tales for Wandering Children Part 2. I'm still in my garage 'studio' mediating while my cast of characters duke it out and scripts sprinkle from the rafters like so much fairy dust. But I think the wait will be worth it. My 2 to 10 inch tall friends seem to have lots on their minds.

JUNE 12 2006

Ann Coulter says:

That was the dirty me the one spilled sideways along an exit ramp (litter tramp) I sleep in box by TV store I no get bored I know score The dirty me the one renditioned with loose change from the petty cash tin pebble dirtied grin can I come in?

JUNE 11 2006

Another tune for R. Cheek cataloguers (Cheek, Ison, Holtek) "Heavy Hands" MP3

JUNE 7 2006

Fruit Pie the Magician (The incomparable Randy Cheek from The Ass Ponys):
"Someplace Special"

Or......click on this: Someplace Special

New Favorite Site fantastic.library.cornell

Sometimes no one asks me: "Dave, what's the best album of all time?"
To which I don't reply: "There's no 'best' but today BLANK comes to mind."
Todays "BLANK" - Prayers on Fire, The Birthday Party

JUNE 6 2006 (aka 666!)

People have been asking me if I have any special evil plans today - aside from the usual devil worship and baby sacrifices I can't say that I do. But since Lucifer speaks to me directly I will tell you that He thinks the whole "666" thing is ridiculous. In fact, He and I were riffing on it just the other day:

"668" - The Anti-Christ's next door neighbor

"333" - The Anti-Christ's midget sidekick

"121212" - Now twice as evil

"999" - Dyslexic Anti-Christ

"5.8 5.9 6.1" - Approximate Evil

Here's one from the "so-many-Christians-so-few-lions" department:

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God

JUNE 3 2006

I never trusted the white sherbert.

JUNE 2 2006

- personally, I take no small comfort in the knowledge that no matter how low I sink I most likely will never surpass the crimes of those elected to represent me.

Did this a while ago......but seems like time to bring it back....

JUNE 1 2006

Available for after midnight dates only (police record available upon request)

I swear, he really is a sweetheart

MAY 31 2006

Oops, last day of my birthday month......better try to sneak in a couple more self-p's by midnight.

But then again, here's what you really want to see -

- and of course some more devilry courtesy of John and David and whoever the twisted mo-fo painter was -

MAY 29 2006

If I could just shake the macabre predilection I might be able to sell some of my mini-planters to the bric-a-brac loving crowd out there

MAY 28 2006

The gleaming torch of narcissism brightens the walls of a dull life

Thou shalt have no devils before me

Wanna party?

Well, I've been alive now longer than some of you and less than others. I still don't like the taste of cantaloupe and having a rusty shovel shoved between my two front teeth is still my biggest phobia. Recently my creative disease has been offset a bit by my lazy ailment but I'm still doing more than Ford did while he was in office. Despite the creeping wrinkles and new age spots I'm confident that the women out there still see me as the cute 24 year old socially underdeveloped navel gazer that I'll always be. I'll do my best to keep giving the 20 to 50 people who visit here a day something to look at. With each visit to this site you all grow so much more special to me. eternal, unfathomable (but regretfully conditional) love, Cowboy Dave Holtek

Slogan of pro-corporal punishment movement: No Child's Behind Left

MAY 26 2006

More Bulgariana from John and David

Here's to hoping - "class war"

No smoking OR eating ice cream?? Shit, I ain't going there. Or is that a dog turd on a golf tee?

A handsome woman by any account

The blessed consistency of the crass

MAY 24 2006

Self-portrait month - in case anyone was wondering, here's what I look like with Hitler's face superimposed on me -

Let's hope I'm not a failure as an artist too or who knows WHAT might happen! (oops, too late!)

MAY 23 2006

Sorry, time flies when there's a hallucination living in your garage

The Three Baby Cindys play with cinders in the toy chest cavity a la mode

MAY 19 2006

I only have one personality, but it has multiple personalities. I'm always just it, but it is always full of something else. Even shallow water reflects.
Self-portrait series:

Add own fart joke:

Billy has playground visions. Watch out for the slide.

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