SEPT 20 2006
SEPT 18 2006
60% of Americans are fat and the remaining 40% are starting to look mighty tasty.
Here's one from the Keep 'Em Guessing Series -
SEPT 16 2006
Remember in the movie "Scanners" where the pregnant woman's fetus "scans" a guy in the waiting room? Well, that fetus was me and now I'm all grown up.
SEPT 14 2006
America - summed up in one website > "Over Size Casket"
Life's all pin and not enough cushion.
alternative punchline #2
In Kentucky they sell this one in the Junior's Department -
Or, for the more self-absorbed -
SEPT 13 2006
A bit more of the old Russian textbook desecration series -
Operation Cre Di has been delving into the musical archives to bring you some musics for your listenings.
||Here's an mp3 of a tune from circa 1988
"Grabbing Eyes" by Craig Coe and David Holtek (perhaps going by the name "Nomenklature" at the time?)
You feel fine it's alright you feel up to doing it tonight
City lights shine thru your eyes restless crawls out at the night cries out at the same sight
Live life like bits of sunlight on cold lifeless days
uncalled for expectations hits in dry mouth (x2)
Sprouts out verbage the garbage of latter days he sways in the sunlight
Unable to get by the grabbing eyes they see (x2)
Unable to get by the grabbing hands they feel out at the shadow of the hiding man
the restless hands steal the breath gets wet they feel alive at the memory of a later life
You feel fine it's alright you feel up to doing it tonight
city lights shine thru your eyes restless claws out at the night
In the beginning we were basically a "casio band" but it would still be several years before casio bands became retro-cool. So, at the time, we just sucked.
I'm not sure if a master 4track of this exists. I'll keep an ear out and try for a better mix if I find it.
"You're So Touchable"
SEPT 12 2006
"When I got back home I found a message on the door
Sweet Regina's gone to China crosslegged on the floor
Of a burning jet that's smoothly flying
Burning airlines give you so much more." -Eno Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy)
Nihilism's popular but I didn't know there were ads for it.
America - half a brain using a quarter of the World's resources
one hundred percent of the time.
Introducing The Cat Bib -
Stay warm while catching any crumbs or dribbles while you snack in front of the TV.
And if you're eating yogurt Cat Bib will glady and efficiently clean your spoon for you when you're done.
SEPT 9 2006
Rich people love your patriotism.
Gas may cost $ but flags will always be cheap
A true jack-off master wouldn't mis-spell it but it's still good to see some pro-onanism graffiti out there -
"Viscera Eyes" by The Mars Volta is the best rock song in 25 years.
SEPT 7 2006
"Secret CIA Prisons" inspired poetry:
Darling as I think of you I see foreign looking writing on the wall
it is not the language of my current captors
I can make out slavic looking names amidst the graffiti and hash marks
counting down the days until some past soviet-style regime relaxed the cuffs
the ghosts of comrades past brush past my shoulder in the black of night
political prisoners alike
I smile at the irony
their captors used to vie for covetted 2 week vacations in Cuba
my vacation in Cuba may be forever
perhaps someday my darling we shall reunite
on the beaches of Guatanamo Bay
On a street in a America wafted the odd smelling combination of arrogance and anti-intellectualism.
In the year 2028 a manuscript will be discovered written by a dark skinned girl hiding in an attic called "The Diary of Anbar Faruq"
SEPT 5 2006
More "fun with old Russian textbook" series -
The Creative Disease Grasshopper paid a visit today and snatched a pebble from my hand thus predicting a harsh winter and an above-average apple crop.
SEPT 3 2006
Hello. I appreciate everyone who visits here and I hope you're enjoying it. Please keep spreading the word. Visitor stats have been showing a steady increase all year. The more of you there are the more I'm motivated to create, destroy and create again. Thanks.
Here's the start of a mini-series inspired by a 1960 Russian language book for tots. Props to the Ivan or Ivanka who did the original art.
ceramica 2006 - Holtek
The Story of Frankencandle -
Kindly Etta May Tobias liked to make candles on lazy Sunday afternoons.
She was eager to use the new batch of wax that she'd got on special from a man in town.
The wax already had a nice, reddish and pink tint to it so she decided to leave well enough alone.
They looked pretty after she poured them and she was anxious to remove them from the mold.
She went to bed around 10.
In the morning the sound of her coffee cup crashing made her little dog "Tommy" bark.
There's a lot of talk of "fascism" in the news these days. Ever get the feeling you're being primed?
So, I hear opium production is up 60% in Afghanistan........it's kind of a good thing......8 years of Bush is enough to make any rational person a junkie. Or maybe Haliburton realizes oil reserves are depleting and the company is trying to "diversify".
Somewhere in heaven JonBenet is sitting on Elvis' lap reading new "Peanuts" strips.
Ever since the 1950s God has given up trying to rid heaven of cliques.
Heaven means never having to do acid again.
SEPT 1 2006
- as you can see, this moderately entertaining website is, was, and most likely always will be free of ads. But occasionally I am so moved by a new edition to the body of consumerotica that I am compelled to do a feature - BEHOLD the Wonders of Modernity! -
"FRYPOD" inspired poetry -
"easy-grab opening for on-the-go eating"
My baby has
an easy grab opening
the love flows in and out
her frypod heats my loins
she's made to fit my heart
her love I hungrily hold
in the cupholder of my soul
Back in my day a "frypod" was a big empty box that you sat in while people blew "shotguns" through holes.
As I write I'm also frantically jotting down some notes and sketches... ...surely a cell phone/FRYPOD combo must be in the works?
Needless to say, an iPOD/FRYPOD will soon be on the shelves. Perhaps a USB connection can be rigged to keep the fries warm and crispy?
This "3pete" cartoon is dedicated to Stephen "shystie" who apparently had a nasty little run-in with some angry, disaffected Toledo-ins the other night.
AUG 31 2006
Fruit Pie the Magician told me that he ran out of napkins once and instead used papers with important ideas and inspirations written on them to wipe his face.
"Snakes On A Plane" is not about a plane full of trial lawyers.
Apparently, our President George W. Bush likes to pull "fart gags" on his staff. (insert needless punchline here)
First his dad pukes on a foreign dignitary and now GW farts on people.....it's like a "Scat Dynasty"
AUG 29 2006
AUG 28 2006
Coming soon - new series - "Mysteries of the Prehistoric" - in this series I will pull in temporal drag lines and see what sort of "bait" is attached to the other end. Archeology in one's own shed, so to speak.
Happiness is not being in any art shows.
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