profane surreal dark art
humor & music a perpetually self-defeating mix of the experimental & mundane. Everything on this site is satire. None of it is true.
We do not exist.

unless noted all work by david holtek and creativedisease copyright 2006 Art Vice

  c r e a t i v e
d i s e a s e

Chewing the fat of excessive consumption since 1998


past pages - 52 - 51 - 50 - 49 - 48 - 47 - 46 - 45 - 44 - 43 - 42 - 41 - 40 - 39 - 38 - 37 - 36 - 35 - 34 - 33 - 32 - 31 - 30 - 29 -28 - 27 - 26 -

  25 - 24 - 23 - 22 - 21 - 20 - 19






The genius of our designs
in sportable form at the


Mucho MP3 Music Page


v i d e o w o r k

animation - other wordly

visual xperimentl

documentical - theoretical


LINKS voluntary human extinction movement a great site to waste a lot of time yet help entertain the world

555 Gallery Detroit's coolest and coldest gallery with the hottest art



MAY 22 2007



  entomb me
erect a fence
keep your grubby paws off me
in death as in life

MAY 21 2007

So, stupid f*cking c*nt Dr. Laura's soldier son had a naughty myspace page, huh? LINK
Dig this line by the Army apologist/spin Dr. -

"Our enemies are adaptive, technologically sophisticated, and truly understand the importance of the information battlespace," Tallman continued. "Sadly, they will use that space to promulgate and disseminate untrue propaganda."

"Information battlespace" ???? Where DO they come up with this shit?

NEXT WEEK on Information Battlespace - An Islamic rogue cyclonic blogger force penetrates the nucleus of the Western Cyber Command Center and detonates virtual propaganda bombs. Americans whose patriotic resolve is found to be compromised by this latest attack in the information battlespace will be rounded up and sent out for re-education at one of the George W Bush Patriotism Assurance Centers.


MAY 16 2007



and then give thanks that Jerry Falwell is fucking dead - gone to that Heaven
in the sky filled with a heady mix of homophobes, pedo preists and believers of
every kind.

Came upon this cat in the UK - trained to reserve his owner's parking space. Good kitty!

MAY 15 2007


The Druids infiltrated the Church and placed secret megaliths in the hearts of
The robes conceal erections over the convoluted words of God
In the Continuity of time all things are vacant

And all Things will be detached

In the UK when our driver found out I was an artist he said there was an artist woman over there who
"put a pair of her knickers on a bed and won an award for it".
He then asked me if I was "that kind of artist" to which I replied" "no, I'm not that talented."

Tackiest woman in Gatwick Airport award (dig the pink cowboy hat)


More soon........

MAY 13 2007

The sometimes-semi-creative staff of Creative Disease is back on-site.

What news have you of America?
Did you guys impeach Bush and Cheney while I was gone?
Did you legalize marijuana?
Did you talk about me while I was gone?
Were listening devices placed in my home? If so, can I listen to the recordings to get a second chance at figuring out what the hell's going on around here?

We'll try to give you some content soon.

But in the meantime, of all the great bands of past and present don't forget to put a couple Pale Saints cds in your desert island survival crate. You'll thank me later.

MAY 6 2007

Creative Disease is taking a week off. Maybe during the lull you might be so kind as to direct a new person or 2 here. When we get back we promise to do our best in our ongoing efforts to further absurdicize this little bit of life on Earth.

I, David Holtek, have also decided that this is a good time to make a serious announcement:

I am announcing my candidacy for
The Presidency of The United States

My platform is simple and straightforward -

If elected I will issue an Executive Order to force everyone who voted for George W. Bush to pay reparations to the rest of us.

Amounts due will be calculated on an individual basis. FOX commentators will pay triple and serve a minimum 10 years community service.

Please vote for me.

This isn't exactly a good time to be invoking serious magics so I'll wait for my return to bring all 8 together, but here's the final piece of the chaotic puzzle

call her 8 of 8


Also, when I get back me and MY Festiva are going to throw down the gauntlet to this dude.

And finally, here's a song - "Buzzy Jam" by The Phantom Groupies

MAY 4 2007

Hello folks. The CreDi folks are a bit busy at the moment so they asked me to take a break from my custodial and security duties to let you know that there is a strong possibility that Creative Disease will be moving it's operations overseas in the near future.

A fact finding mission is going on next week so there will be a 1 week interruption in programming while Holtek and Co scope out digs in the Old World.

I've been told to tell you that they'll try to get some entertainment up here this weekend to hold you all over.


In the meantime maybe viewing this film will make you want to take a break from here anyway:

MAY 2 2007

APRIL 30 2007

Creative Disease is very pleased to present : It Came From Texas by Dan Holt

It Came From Texas Bush Parody video   It came from Texas Bush Parody video


APRIL 27 2007

Never listen to Atomic Bitchwax while grocery shopping - I got in 5 fights in the cereal aisle alone. That pregnant chick never saw it coming.

Speaking of grocery shopping - I got a whiff of someone with some serious B.O. but a couple aisles over I realized it was me. Don't you hate it when that happens?

APRIL 26 2007

    Buddha peruses CraigsList
Mohamed updates His MySpace blog
Jesus sits bored in Second Life
While Jehovah stubbornly sticks to analog

Americans are the most dangerous people in the world. They'll bend over backwards for you, help you with directions, be charitable and lend a hand. But they also elect George Bushes. Such devastatingly unpredictable behavior is a hallmark of the dangerous. If you are a foreigner invite an American into your home. Feed them. Entertain them. Americans make lovely company. Just make sure to bar them from any hand in policy or international relations and you will be fine.

APRIL 25 2007

1pm eastern the moment the best f**king band is Deerhunter

Potentially Habitable Planet Found week later:

bush invades new planet cartoon


APRIL 23 2007


APRIL 20 2007

Toddler fight! C'mon America we can't let the Brits outdo us on this kind of thing! That kind of shit is our bread and butter. C'mon Kentucky. C'mon Georgia. C'mon Arkansas! Step up to the plate!
Suspended Sentences for Toddler fight Women

I know of a few older fellas who are getting up close and personal with some anal probes right about now.
Crewless Mystery Yacht

APRIL 18 2007

America - there's disturbed people everywhere. We just make it easier for them to arm themselves.

I'm not convinced Don Imus didn't have some hand in this.

Nothing like a massacre to make words like "nappy headed ho" seem pretty harmless, eh?

My heart goes out to the victims and their families. That's a hell of a way to get out of an exam.

  never let them see the body parts in the freezer cartoon  

APRIL 16 2007

nappy headed ho cartoon


Always love it when someone buys one of our shirts......but sometimes they're not always worn accurately.

Honey, I think you're there.

APRIL 11 2007



John Mike Bordeaux


Sissy-second fuck
Bade 'er mother luck; 'er
daughter gimme three
poppa bought my be-'er
C'mer, girly-pup
wanna push it up 'er
Not a fucken queer,
sexual sightsee-'er
Make me feel so old
sissy-second cuck-'old.

Visitor stats have fallen off a bit this past week. If you know anyone who likes stupid funny shit please guide them here

How else they gonna see quality stuff like this? -

APRIL 8 2007


Knock knock
Who's there?
Jesus who?
Jesus Christ could you help me move this God damn boulder?

Piece approaching completion. Once the 8 are joined an 18.6% increase in sigil casting powers are predicted. Be nice to me or you might awaken to snakes in your bed.  

APRIL 6 2007

  vomit on newscasters cartoon  

APRIL 4 2007

"Intell 53 advises that five members of the anarchist group have entered a parking garage," reads an entry from 5:12 p.m.

Good Lord how I wish reality actually reflected the overworked imaginations of this country's law enforcement agencies. They're so desperate for enemies of any shape and color that they see anarchists on every street corner, Taliban in Talbots, Al Qaida in Albertsons. If only we weren't actually all asleep in front of the teevee.
Story Here

  whatever doesn't kill me makes me longer nihilist cartoon  

APRIL 2 2007

This just in from John Mike Bordeaux:

(I like it so much I'm not writing anything for a week out of protest)

  House guessed outnumbered, out, guest! Encased, inquest, cast in
in case -- ingest
in haste, in hate the
host guessed,
"Hosed gates?"
Guest not incorrectly
gazed aghast, in jest.

Just call him "6 of 8" ceramica Holtek 2007

MARCH 30 2007

.........................timetables cartoon bush premature ejaculation

MARCH 28 2007

"Be a fortress with many laboratories and bedrooms inside.

Have a heart that's made of stone but a slight bit ticklish.

Always taste with many mouths."

- Comrade Philosopher Dave Holtek


Last week's ceramic piece exploded in the kiln so I made 2 more. If those 2 explode I'll make 4.

I live in a country that tends to invade other countries.

Are fast food restaraunts astrologically aligned?

People everywhere are reading some book called "The Secret" - basically states that reality can be created and controlled by thoughts. Thank God Americans don't do much thinking.

"The Patriot Act" should be the name of the action of deposing an incompetent or evil government. As in "we're marching on Washington to take part in the Patriot Act. You wanna come?"

I believe aliens live in our heads and when we dream it's actually just them talking and telling stories to each other.

MARCH 26 2007

  crimes against optimism cartoon holtek  

MARCH 23 2007

Creative Disease is not published under oath and no transcripts are allowed.
Please destroy this page after perusing.

ghetto pass cartoon

MARCH 20 2007

  cartoon aliens supersize fat americans  

Instrumental band seeks vocalist to kick around.

I need to stop eating Indian food late at night.....
woke up looking like this again!

Have you joined the resistance yet?

A 5th Column forming in an area near you.

  Allow us a minute to explain to you how little you understand about art.


<<<<< back in time one page



"Mood shift shift back to good again. C'mon be a friend"
"-Of Montreal


"It's like a discipline without the discipine of all the discipline"
-LCD Soundsystem



"And if you wish it will still hurt as before. I can hear you breathing I know you're there."
-Crispy Ambulance





"He who lives as children live - who does not struggle for his bread and does not believe that his actions possess any ultimate significance - remains childlike."




"karen put me in a chair fuck me and make me a drink I lost direction and I'm past my peak I'm telling you this isn't me no this isn't me Karen believe me you just haven't seen my good side yet"
-The National




"He drank panther piss and fucked the girls you're probably married to"
- Nick Cave



"The path to enlightenment is not reached by car and its landmarks will be signs on the soles of the feet."
-David Holtek



"I'm going to do things to you that are beyond all known philosophies."
-Duran Duran (Barbarella)



"Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the superman - a rope over an abyss"
- Nietzsche



"I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders."
-The National





"B-b-b-baby he's screaming the truth. America, America is killing it's youth"




"Let's have some decorum."
-Monochrome Set



"I don't care what weapons you use just as long as you keep me amused."
-James Chance




"Nag nag nag"
-Cabaret Voltaire



"In America, for every action there is an equal and opposing inaction"
-Dave Holtek



"You know it's time we grow old and do some shit."
-Broken Social Scene




"Can you dig it? Can you dig it?
Can yooooo dig it?
-Sirus The Warriors




"I hesitate to deposit money in a bank. I am afraid I shall never dare to take it out again. When you go to confession and entrust your sins to the safe-keeping of the priest, do you ever come back for them?"
-Jean Baudrillard





"Merchant and pirate were for a long period one and the same person. Even today mercantile morality is really nothing but a refinement of piratical morality."




"Like a dark stripe down the center of the night, two's as good as one."
- Arto Lindsay