profane surreal dark art
humor & music a perpetually self-defeating mix of the experimental & mundane. Everything on this site is satire. None of it is true.
We do not exist.

unless noted all work by david holtek and creativedisease copyright 2006 Art Vice

  c r e a t i v e
d i s e a s e

Chewing the fat of excessive consumption since 1998


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The genius of our designs
in sportable form at the


Mucho MP3 Music Page


v i d e o w o r k

animation - other wordly

visual xperimentl

documentical - theoretical


LINKS voluntary human extinction movement a great site to waste a lot of time yet help entertain the world

555 Gallery Detroit's coolest and coldest gallery with the hottest art




13 NOV 2007

Trying to conform to how these Brits write the date.......also struggling getting used to people asking "you all right?" as their introductory greeting. As a Yank I keep wanting to look in a mirror and see if I'm sickly looking or check my immediate extremities for signs of cuts, abrasions or flows of blood.

Yeah, I'm all right, mate. How 'bout you? Fancy a cuppa?





NOV 10 2007



We went to sleep hoping maybe there existed Studio Faeries in the Old World who would surprise us in the morning with a fully reconstructed and operational command center.

Alas, it appears up to me - Dave - the small space miracle worker - to bring HQ back on-line.

220 to 110 voltage transformers are humming. The new computer, bought just prior to moving here and turned on for the first time, is generating some current thru the chasis. Is the power supply faulty or is this US to UK power bastardization rig doomed?

Is electrocution on the menu? Maybe with a side of hot bangers?



memories of a space shot  

..........................not yet  


NOV 8 2007

HEY! That was my nickname back in the 80s!

Since two of our staff happen to be cats we had to pay a larger deposit on our new Head Quarters - people with KIDS are the ones who should have to pay more! Our staff cats could never do as much damage as the brats of the former tenants did here. Not in a million cat years. I was cleaning around a radiator today and reached up and felt a bunch of crap shoved between it and the wall. After about an hour I managed to get most of it out, but there's still a donkey toy from "Shrek" back there that says something now and then (or does it ???) After I pulled out around 7 dirty child's socks I had to wonder if there might be a very specialized market for dirty-kid-socks-stuck-between-a-radiator-for-years fetishists out there? Any takers? (please, British Sterling or Euros, no American dollars - thanks)

Wonder how long they were looking for that remote?

Speaking of HQ, I stepped out the basement door the other day and went "oh, how nice - one of those bristley shoe cleaner things!"
But then I realized it was a bit small and recalled the neighbor telling us about the hedgehogs.......RIP


(bonus for Python nerds)


NOV 6 2007

Ouch. My leg's asleep! So, I'm quite thrilled to report that the precious sea shipment containing our furniture and equipment is due to be delivered Thursday. No more sitting on the floor getting cramps as I try to generate material for The Disease.

Also, greater than the sighting of the Virgin Mary at Fatima in 1917, British Telecom unexpectedly showed up at our door today to hook up phone service! So let those calls of praise and death threats start pouring in! I expect it will be another few weeks before we manage to get internet service at HQ but I'll continue to squat at Pantelli's, drink Leffe and supply updates when I can.

And we'd love to hear from some of you, so send us an email, or.......I think I have a myspace page if you wanna be 'friends'. We'd like to hear comments or suggestions so we can ignore them. I think we're at but let me check on that......

Finally found time to put together a little gif animation of my final ceramic piece - "The Melodic Birth of Vice"

Again, I wish to thank William Schulz for letting me propogate evil in his studio and Priyagi for helping with the camera work.



NOV 4 2007


    Somebody forgot to tell these Brits 4th of July was months ago! Happy Guy Fox Day!  

OCT 31 2007


This was by far the funniest thing I've heard so far in the UK - religion came up in the cafe and a woman said something about not being a Christian, not having a problem with it but that she was sick and tired of people shoving it down her throat (!!!)
Now, keep in mind this is England where I have yet to see a single "Jesus fish" on a car, not a single "real men love Jesus"
bumper sticker nor a single white-shirt-and-tie Mormon boy pedalling a bike on a proselytizing mission, let alone even a peep about burning Harry Potter books. This is the very England that just had a national-level anti-abortion protest that literally consisted of 6 or 7 people calmly standing on a sidewalk. Now, being someone who survived 5 years in America's bible-belt, it was all I could do to not yank her out of her seat, bust out my debit card and spring for 2 plane tickets to Gwinnett County Georgia. "Shove it down your throat" indeed! Ha!

OCT 29 2007


The ground can't hold me

the devils have bored me

the angels in hospital

when you visit my plot

your tears do drop

to nourish the earth

eyes sewn shut

soul seeps up

and I sprout like Spring

as you stumble off

my branches burst up

and drag you down with me

to the bed of our grave

our eternal embrace

cannot be broken


The other day on the bus a very drunk woman got on with a toddler in a stroller. At one point she shoved her head down into the stroller to "coo-coo" the baby and it looked like she might have head-butted it because it started to cry. After she chatted up some old lady about the meaning of life she hooked up with a bloke who got on at the next stop. She summoned him to come sit beside her on the already too narrow seat. He claimed to have a daughter with the same name as the toddler. The drunk mom tried to get details from him about his child but for some reason he was being very evasive - "how old is she?" -*shrug*- "is she 6?" - *mumble*- "is she this, is she that?"

Then after a long pause she motioned down at her own child and asked him, "is it her?"

Well, that's probably the best Halloween story I can come up with for now.......though the blokes in the cafe are talking
about how many bodies show up in the harbour here....apparently the suicide victims from bridges on the Thames
often make their way down here.......hmmm...maybe I'll go beach-combing today.

OCT 27 2007


After a couple weeks in the UK I've discovered a new unit of time - longer than an hour and a bit less than a full day.
It's equal to the length of time waiting on hold for a British Telecom customer service rep. The unit of time is abbreviated "BT".
Example: "By the time I had lunch, finished up some work, got stuck in traffic and finally made it home an entire BT had passed"

True story: After using up ALL my mobile minutes on hold I got smart and found the closest phone booth and called from there since it was free. I was on hold so long that I had to pee. There was a public restroom around 50 yards away so I put the receiver down, hurried over, took a relaxing whizz, washed my hands, primped in the mirror and strolled back to the phone.....
still a recording. Finally after an hour an old man came up and started giving me the stink-eye so I had to abandon the effort
of getting a land line.

OCT 24 2007

.One benefit of being a shoe-gazer is finding money. And indeed today I found a 5 pence coin. For you Americans
and your pathetically devalued currency that's equal to around $50



Rule Number One of UK Life - if it can be deep-fried it WILL be deep-fried. We were out walking about and became famished.
The only things around other than the ubiquitous fish 'n chip stands were a Subway and a Burger King. Since Burger King's
"Veggie Burger" back in America had come to our rescue on several occasions we decided to give it a go. Not sure if they even
had them here - to our surprise the BK had not only the veggie burger but also a "spicy bean burger". When we unwrapped them we thought they had made a mistake. Here was an obviously deep-fried thing that looked like a typical fried chicken patty. But after some careful pre-consumption surgery we saw that they were indeed composed of non-flesh materials. Nevertheless, our sissy, macrobiotic constitutions were seriously put to the test after scarfing down our 'healthy' deep-fried vegetarian meals.
Please, sea-shipment arrive soon with our arsenal of cooking utensils!

OCT 22 2007

At first I wasn't sure I was man enough to drive in the UK but then I got a great deal on an auto and decided to give it a go.


A little Turtle Wax and I'll be good to go.


Drum roll...............yes, I picked up the 2 pence coin, and considering the price of things here I'll be picking up any others I spot as well.


Today CreDi is getting keys to our new headquarters. Major equipment is still in route. We have much multimedia fun
to bring to you. Please stay with us.

OCT 19 2007


The other day an old man passed me on the sidewalk and said something to me about "my firebox". I walked a
few steps wondering what the 'ell he was going on about and then thought maybe it was some sort of Britishism for
"hey bloke, your fly is down" so I checked but the port hatch was secure, so I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Life is so complicated here - they have a 2 penny coin. Even bums in America will leave a penny lying on the ground,
but what to do when you find a 2 pence coin on the ground?? So, I spotted one yesterday and stood there for 5 minutes
trying to decide what to do knowing full well it might set the course for the rest of my stay here. I'll keep you on the edge
of your seats wondering whether I copped it or not......stay tuned.

................................................Dorothy, we're not in Kansas anymore. But wait........maybe we are!  


OCT 18 2007 AUK

Time for The SURREAL UK Moment of the Week! - turning on the telly and seeing the UK rugby team singing Kenny Roger's
The Gambler
after their victory over France - "you got to know when to hold 'em.....know when to fold 'em". Maybe if they win
the final we can arrange a visit to Dollywood for them.

But with every jab I make at my new compatriots I vow to include one salute - - - - - If you happen to be in Kent please venture
down to Ramsgate and frequent Pantelli's Cafe on High Street. They've been exceedingly nice to me there and without their wifi
hospitality (a thing in very short supply here) I wouldn't be able to bring you these updates.

  sponge bath smack needle  

We apologize for the sloppy formatting.....working on a 10 year old laptop....still waiting for our real equipment to arrive via
sea shipment. Once they crack open that big container and get it to us along with the 10 Mexicans we decided to smuggle over
at the last minute we'll be back up to form. (there aren't any Mexicans here - which explains the haggis burrito I had at a 'mexican'
restaurant the other day)


So, you Yanks impeached Bush yet? Lemme know.

OCT 15 2007

NEWS from the UK:

The cafe owner is talking about some local artist who made a film about local girls "fingering each other on the beach" -
as soon as I get time I'll be googling that one.

Meanwhile, 90 people have died in Kent hospitals from some "super bug" infections that they call "C-Diff" (or something like that).
Apparently the staff were telling patients to just go ahead and soil their beds since no one was around to empty bed pans.
Add to that a recent report that some 8% of the population has resorted to performing denistry on themselves due to lack or services
and I'm wondering what bleeding 3rd World country I landed in.

Fortunately, being an "adult baby" into infantalism I've always got a month's supply of oversized nappies on hand so if I find myself
in hospital it should be just another day at the beach for me. And since I don't have any teeth.....well, ha ha ha, jokes on you, broken
UK dental services!

queen elizabeth pulls teeth british denistry woes cartoon holtek

Now, where's my mush?

Well, looks like we won't be setting up shop in the castle. Turns out it's just too far away from public transport and since we left our fleet of Hummers back in the states we're relying on buses and trains to get about.

Our new prospective digs are around 5 minutes from the train station and so it will be much easier to usher in foreign dignitaries and London-based prostitutes.

Did I mention the pub that's about 50 feet away?

Anyway, here 'tis. Maybe in my next life - kingsgate castle

"Do you know that you're my hero?" - I'd like to take a minute to salute our brave and intrepid cats who survived 9 hours
in the cargo hold of a plane in order to continue their invaluable contributions to the operation of this web site. They are
now free of their portable prisons and quite comfortably lying about on the beds.
cats in prison


OCT something-or-other













Semi-Ritualistic Procedure For Purging A Bad Habit From Your Life -  



1. Dig a hole

2. Place a preferably self-made object of significance in the hole
3. Concentrate. Mentally transfer the essence of the unwanted habit into the object whilst raising hammer




4. Smash object/habit

5. Bury smashed habit

(Optional step 6: wait for opportune time to resume bad habit. Repeat as needed)





"Mood shift shift back to good again. C'mon be a friend"
"-Of Montreal


"It's like a discipline without the discipine of all the discipline"
-LCD Soundsystem



"And if you wish it will still hurt as before. I can hear you breathing I know you're there."
-Crispy Ambulance





"He who lives as children live - who does not struggle for his bread and does not believe that his actions possess any ultimate significance - remains childlike."




"karen put me in a chair fuck me and make me a drink I lost direction and I'm past my peak I'm telling you this isn't me no this isn't me Karen believe me you just haven't seen my good side yet"
-The National




"He drank panther piss and fucked the girls you're probably married to"
- Nick Cave



"The path to enlightenment is not reached by car and its landmarks will be signs on the soles of the feet."
-David Holtek



"I'm going to do things to you that are beyond all known philosophies."
-Duran Duran (Barbarella)



"Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the superman - a rope over an abyss"
- Nietzsche



"I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders."
-The National





"B-b-b-baby he's screaming the truth. America, America is killing it's youth"




"Let's have some decorum."
-Monochrome Set



"I don't care what weapons you use just as long as you keep me amused."
-James Chance




"Nag nag nag"
-Cabaret Voltaire



"In America, for every action there is an equal and opposing inaction"
-Dave Holtek



"You know it's time we grow old and do some shit."
-Broken Social Scene




"Can you dig it? Can you dig it?
Can yooooo dig it?
-Sirus The Warriors




"I hesitate to deposit money in a bank. I am afraid I shall never dare to take it out again. When you go to confession and entrust your sins to the safe-keeping of the priest, do you ever come back for them?"
-Jean Baudrillard





"Merchant and pirate were for a long period one and the same person. Even today mercantile morality is really nothing but a refinement of piratical morality."




"Like a dark stripe down the center of the night, two's as good as one."
- Arto Lindsay